Please note. This guide shares general information only. It is not legal, financial, tax or professional advice. Laws vary by state and city. For advice about your situation, talk with a licensed professional.
Hi friend. If someone is hurting you, scaring you or controlling you, please hear this: it is not your fault, and you deserve to be safe. There are people in California ready to help, any time, day or night.
Here is the easy first step: call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.7233, or text START to 88788. It's at no cost and private, and they can help you find a local program near you.
A few things to know
- You choose. You are the expert on your own safety. Use what feels right for you and skip anything that doesn't.
- Each place decides who it can serve. We share what each place says it offers and how to reach it. We can't promise a bed, money or a spot in any program.
- Be careful with your phone and computer. If someone checks your devices, use a phone or computer they can't see, like at a library or a friend's house.
- In danger right now? Call 911. Thinking about suicide or in crisis? Call or text 988.
You can call even if you're not sure it's "bad enough." Advocates listen, help you think through your choices, and never judge.
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: call 800.799.7233, text START to 88788, or chat at thehotline.org. Deaf hotline by video phone: 855.812.1001.
- Your county's 24 hour line is in the county list later in this guide.
Source (As of October 22, 2026): https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/
What to say when you call
"Hi. I'm not safe at home, and I don't know what to do."
"I'm calling from [your city or county]. Can you help me find a safe place?"
"I have [number] kids with me." Say if you have pets too. Some centers can help with pets.
"Is it safe for you to call me back at this number?" Tell them if it isn't.
A quick exit
Many hotline websites have a quick exit button that takes you off the page fast. On a shared device, you can also use a private or incognito window. Little things like that can help you stay safe.
How do I know if it's abuse?
Abuse isn't only hitting. The National Domestic Violence Hotline says abuse is about power and control, and that even one or two of these behaviors is a red flag:
- Telling you that you never do anything right.
- Extreme jealousy, or keeping you away from friends and family.
- Insulting or shaming you, especially in front of others.
- Stopping you from making your own choices, like working or going to school.
- Taking your money or refusing money for things you need.
- Pressuring you into sex, drugs or alcohol.
- Threatening looks or actions, or threats to hurt or take your kids or pets.
- Scaring you with weapons, or destroying your things or your home.
If any of this sounds familiar, you can call an advocate just to talk. No one deserves abuse of any kind, for any reason.
Source (As of October 22, 2026): https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/domestic-abuse-warning-signs/
How do I make a safety plan?
A safety plan is a simple, personal plan for staying safer, whether you stay, are thinking about leaving, or have already left. The National Domestic Violence Hotline offers no cost help making one with a live advocate.
A simple safety plan, step by step
- Pick a safe place to go, like a friend's home, a public place, or a domestic violence center.
- Choose a code word for friends or family that means "call for help."
- Keep important numbers memorized or written somewhere safe.
- Pack a small bag with copies of key papers, medicine, a phone charger and some cash, and keep it where it can't be found, or with someone you trust.
- Plan how you would get out of your home quickly, and practice it with your kids if it's safe.
- Call an advocate to talk your plan through.
Papers and things to take, if you can
You don't have to have it all figured out to reach out. One call is enough for today, friend.
From the Bunklow team
Where can I stay if I need to leave?
California has domestic violence programs in every part of the state. The California Partnership to End Domestic Violence keeps a map of local programs by county, with hotline numbers.
Many programs offer emergency shelter, counseling, help with court, and support for kids.
- Shelter locations are kept private for safety. Call the program's 24 hour line to get in.
- If a program is full, ask them to help you find another safe place.
- The county list later in this guide has hotlines near you.
Source (As of October 22, 2026): https://cpedv.org/find-help/
How do I get a restraining order in California?
In California, this is called a domestic violence restraining order. As of October 16, 2026, the California Courts self help guide says:
- There is no court fee to file to ask for a domestic violence restraining order.
- You do not have to have a lawyer.
- If you need protection right away, a judge will decide on a temporary restraining order the same day or by the next business day after you turn in your forms.
Your local domestic violence program or court self help center can help with the forms. This is general information, not legal advice. For help with your situation, talk with an advocate or a lawyer. See Guide 13 for no cost legal help.
Source (As of October 22, 2026): https://selfhelp.courts.ca.gov/DV-restraining-order
Say you want to ask for a restraining order
Say your ex has been threatening you, and you want a court order to keep them away. You could go to the self help center at your county's superior court. The California Courts guide says there is no court fee to file, and you don't need a lawyer.
You could also call your local domestic violence program first. Advocates can explain the steps and may go with you.
This is an example to show how it can work. It is not about a real person, and every situation is different. Source (As of October 22, 2026): https://selfhelp.courts.ca.gov/DV-restraining-order
Can I keep my new address private?
California has a program called Safe at Home, run by the California Secretary of State. The Secretary of State says it offers a substitute mailing address, and California state, county and city agencies accept it instead of your home address, so your home address stays confidential.
- Call at 877.322.5227.
- Ask your local domestic violence program about it. Advocates can help you apply.
Source (As of October 22, 2026): https://www.sos.ca.gov/registries/safe-home
What housing help is there if I'm a survivor?
HUD has protections for survivors in HUD assisted housing, like public housing and Housing Choice Vouchers, under a program known as VAWA. Questions about what applies to you?
Check the official page below. HUD explains how survivors can:
- Ask about staying in their home and keeping their assistance.
- Ask about applying when past problems were caused by the abuse.
- Ask the housing provider about an emergency transfer for safety reasons.
- Ask how their information is kept private.
Source (As of October 22, 2026): https://www.hud.gov/vawa
Kids and pets, too
When you call a center, tell them about your kids and pets. Ask what support they have for children, and if they can help with a safe place for your pet. You're doing so great by asking.
Does it cost money to file for a restraining order in California?
No. As of October 16, 2026, the California Courts self help guide says there is no court fee to file for a domestic violence restraining order.
Will the hotline tell anyone I called?
The hotline is private. Ask the advocate any questions you have about privacy when you call.
Can I bring my kids to a shelter?
Many centers serve parents with children. Ask the center when you call.
What if I'm not ready to leave?
That's OK. Advocates can help you make a safety plan while you stay, and you can call back any time.
I live in public housing. What if the abuse puts my home at risk?
Check HUD's VAWA page for the details, and talk with an advocate or legal aid.
Can I end my lease early, and can I get help paying to move?
Survivors in California may be able to end a lease early. Questions about how it works, what papers you need and the timing?
Check the official page below, and talk with an advocate.
- An advocate can help you know which papers to attach, like a restraining order, a police report or a signed statement.
The California Victim Compensation Board (CalVCB) helps pay crime related costs that no other source covers, like relocation, home security, counseling and lost income. CalVCB says domestic violence victims do not need a police report. A letter from a domestic violence program, medical or counseling records, or a restraining order can work instead. Approved victims may get up to $70,000 in total, and relocation has its own cap.
This is general information, not legal advice. Source (As of October 22, 2026): https://victims.ca.gov/uploads/DVAM_Fact-Sheet_2026.pdf and https://victims.ca.gov/for-victims/what-is-covered/
How to end your lease safely
- Talk with a domestic violence advocate first. They can help you plan and may sign the third party statement.
- Ask your advocate or legal aid how to write the notice.
- Attach the paper your advocate suggests, like your order, a police report or a signed statement.
- Give it to your landlord in a way you can prove, and keep a copy.
- Ask how much rent you may still owe after the notice.
- Ask CalVCB or your advocate about help with moving costs. Keep every receipt.
Your advocate can help you apply
CalVCB says you can apply online in English or Spanish, or on paper in 18 languages, and a victim advocate can help. Call CalVCB at 800.777.9229, or ask for help in your county on the CalVCB website at https://victims.ca.gov/for-victims/get-help/
Federal help (works in every state)
Here are some places to start.
National Domestic Violence Hotline
What it offers No cost, private support 24/7 for anyone hurt or threatened by a partner. Advocates can help you make a safety plan and find local programs and shelter.
How to reach Call 800.799.7233. Text START to 88788. Chat at https://www.thehotline.org/
Source https://www.thehotline.org/
Last checked October 16, 2026
VAWA housing protections (HUD)
What it offers Information for survivors in HUD assisted housing, including how to ask about an emergency transfer.
How to reach Learn more at https://www.hud.gov/vawa
Source https://www.hud.gov/vawa
Last checked October 16, 2026
Other local groups may also help.
California
Here are some places to start.
California Partnership to End Domestic Violence: Find Help
What it offers The statewide coalition keeps a map of local domestic violence programs by county. Staff can also help during business hours, Monday to Friday, 8:30 am to 4:30 pm.
How to reach Find a program at https://cpedv.org/find-help/ or call 916.444.7163.
Source https://cpedv.org/find-help/
Last checked October 16, 2026
Safe at Home (California Secretary of State)
What it offers A confidential address program. You get a substitute mailing address that state, county and city agencies accept, so your home address stays private.
How to reach Call 877.322.5227. Email SafeAtHome@sos.ca.gov
Source https://www.sos.ca.gov/registries/safe-home
Last checked October 16, 2026
Other local groups may also help.
Los Angeles County
Here are some places to start.
Los Angeles County Domestic Violence Hotline
What it offers Help and support for people affected by domestic violence in Los Angeles County.
How to reach Call 800.978.3600 or dial 211.
Source https://publichealth.lacounty.gov/ovp/24Hour_CrisisHotlines.htm
Last checked October 16, 2026
Other local groups may also help.
San Diego County
Here are some places to start.
Center for Community Solutions
What it offers San Diego County's 24/7 hotline for domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking, with safety planning and referrals.
How to reach Crisis hotline: 888.385.4657.
Source https://www.ccssd.org/24-7-crisis-hotline
Last checked October 16, 2026
Other local groups may also help.
Orange County
Here are some places to start.
Laura's House
What it offers 24/7 hotline, safe shelter, counseling and support for people affected by domestic violence in Orange County.
How to reach 24/7 hotline: 866.498.1511.
Source https://laurashouse.org/get-help/
Last checked October 16, 2026
Other local groups may also help.
Riverside County
Here are some places to start.
Alternatives to Domestic Violence
What it offers Help for people affected by domestic violence in Riverside County, with offices in Riverside and Hemet.
How to reach Crisis line: 951.672.6175. Office: 951.320.1370.
Source https://rivcohws.org/get-help-connect-homeless-services
Last checked October 16, 2026
Other local groups may also help.
San Bernardino County
Here are some places to start.
Option House
What it offers 24 hour crisis hotline and help for survivors of domestic violence in San Bernardino.
How to reach 24 hour hotline: 909.381.3471.
Source https://www.optionhouseinc.com/
Last checked October 16, 2026
Other local groups may also help.
Santa Clara County (San Jose)
Here are some places to start.
Next Door Solutions to Domestic Violence
What it offers 24/7 hotline in Santa Clara County. A trained advocate answers every hour of every day for crisis support and safety planning.
How to reach 24/7 hotline: 408.279.2962.
Source https://www.nextdoorsolutions.org/help
Last checked October 16, 2026
Other local groups may also help.
Alameda County (Oakland)
Here are some places to start.
Family Violence Law Center
What it offers 24 hour crisis line and legal help for people affected by domestic violence in Alameda County. 470 27th Street, Oakland.
How to reach 24 hour crisis line: 800.947.8301.
Source https://fvlc.org/get-help
Last checked October 16, 2026
Other local groups may also help.
Sacramento County
Here are some places to start.
WEAVE
What it offers Support for people affected by domestic violence, sexual assault and trafficking in Sacramento County.
How to reach Support line: 916.920.2952.
Source https://www.weaveinc.org/
Last checked October 16, 2026
Other local groups may also help.
Contra Costa County
Here are some places to start.
STAND! For Families Free of Violence
What it offers 24 hour crisis line, shelter and support for people affected by domestic violence in Contra Costa County.
How to reach 24 hour crisis line: 888.215.5555.
Source https://www.standffov.org/contact/
Last checked October 16, 2026
Other local groups may also help.
Fresno County
Here are some places to start.
Marjaree Mason Center
What it offers Emergency safe housing and support for people affected by domestic violence in Fresno County. 24/7 confidential helpline.
How to reach 24 hour helpline: 559.233.4357 (559 233 HELP).
Source https://mmcenter.org/
Last checked October 16, 2026
Other local groups may also help.
My safety plan
Fill this in only if it's safe to keep. You can also just memorize it. You've got this!
My safety plan
Calls I made
Key numbers to keep
Please let me know if you have any questions
If something in this guide is out of date, tell us and we'll fix it. You deserve to be safe and happy. Take care, friend.
About this guide
Made by the Bunklow team. No sign up, no paywall, no cost. Please share it with anyone who could use it. Bunklow does not run these programs and cannot speak for them. We list what each place says it offers and how to reach it, and you decide what to use. This is not a full list of every place that can help. Sources were first checked on October 16, 2026. New sources were added, and every link was checked again on October 18, 2026. If something has changed, please tell us so we can fix it. We are always happy to hear from you!
Please note. This guide shares general information only. It is not legal, financial, tax or professional advice. Laws vary by state and city. For advice about your situation, talk with a licensed professional.
Affordable living. Simplified
