Guide · Roommates and shared living

Roommate Agreements

A gentle guide to sharing a home with kindness, clarity and fewer surprises.

5 pages · PDF · 245 KB · free forever, no sign up needed

Where to start

Moving in together soon?
Sit down for a relaxed first talk. Work through the before move in checklist.
A disagreement starting?
Pause first. See when a disagreement starts.
Someone moving out?
Talk early about notice and final bills. See when someone moves out.

The short version

Sharing a home is a wonderful thing, and it works best when everyone feels heard. A roommate agreement is simply a kind conversation, written down.

Start by talking early. Before small frustrations grow, share your schedules, habits and expectations over something friendly, like coffee.

Cover the basics together: how you will split rent and bills, how you will keep shared spaces tidy, and how you will handle guests, noise and personal belongings.

Write it in plain words and keep it short. Then check in every few months, because homes and people change, and your agreement can change too.

Rules differ from place to place, so we’d gently encourage a quick look at the rules where your home is. If you ever have questions, we would love to help.

Four simple rules

1
Talk early
A friendly conversation before problems appear is far gentler than a hard one after.
2
Write it down
Memories differ, and a short written note protects everyone’s goodwill.
3
Keep it fair
Agreements work best when everyone feels heard and no one feels squeezed.
4
Check in often
Life changes, and a quick review keeps the agreement a good fit for everyone.

Try it

Before move in

From the guide’s own checklist. Tick each one as you go. Your ticks stay on this device. These are examples; your home may need others.

0 of 6

Lease read together, and everyone understands who is named on it and what that means
Talked about splitting rent, utilities, internet and shared supplies
Household habits shared: sleep schedules, cleanliness, cooking, noise, guests and pets
Decided how to handle shared items, shared spaces and personal privacy
Agreed how to talk about problems, and how to say goodbye if someone needs to move out
Written in a short, plain language note that everyone signs

When a disagreement starts

Pause. Give yourself a little time before responding, so the first words come from kindness rather than frustration.
Pick a good moment. Ask, “Is now a good time to talk about something small?”
Share what you’ve noticed, simply and without blame: “The kitchen has felt hard to keep up with lately.”
Listen fully. Ask what it looks like from their side, and let them finish before you reply.
Look for a small, fair solution together. Often a simple change, like a shared chore schedule, resolves it.
Write down what you agreed, and check in after a week or two to see how it’s going.

Messages can sound sharper than we mean them to. Before sending, add a friendly greeting and a thank you.

Try it

When someone moves out

From the guide. Tick each one as you go. Your ticks stay on this device. These are examples; your home may need others.

0 of 5

As much notice as you can, in writing, and checked what the lease asks for
Talked together about finding a new roommate, and told the owner before anyone new moves in
Final bills divided fairly, including utilities that run past the move out date
Shared spaces walked together, with cleaning agreed before the last day
Keys and shared items returned, and a forwarding address shared

Name the small stuff

Examples from the guide of everyday things worth talking about early.

Dishes, and how long they can sit in the sink
Trash
Quiet hours, written down
Guests and overnight stays
Borrowing, and asking first

These seem small, yet they are often where friction starts. Naming them early helps everyone feel respected.

Test yourself

How much do you remember?

4 quick questions from this guide, with a one line why for each. Totally optional, no sign in, and your answers are never saved.

From The Perfect Series

Go deeper with The Perfect Move-In Checklist Workbook

Simple, step by step checklists you can write in for moving in: the move in walk, moving day, your first week, utilities, keys and more.

See The Perfect Move-In Checklist Workbook All books in The Perfect Series

Keep the full guide handy

The PDF has everything: everyday habits, what to do when something goes wrong, common myths, helpful resources and plenty of real-world tips. Print it, save it or share it with anyone who could use it.

Download the PDF

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This guide shares general information to help you, and is not legal advice. Bunklow does not inspect properties or decide deposits.